I’m Rich

You read that right. I received word today from an external auditor, one Chang Kee, from the Bank of East Asia offering me an opportunity I just can’t refuse. Sure, a poorly worded e-mail out of the blue can seem suspicious, especially one offering to split a $12.5 million inheritance from a long-lost relative I never knew I had.

Apparently, someone in Taiwan sharing my surname left a great sum of money after dieing in a plane crash. Luckily, no one has come forward to claim the money stash, and all I will need to provide is some pertinent information about myself so he can get the claims process started and “seal the deal of a lifetime.”

Funny though, he can’t provide the name of my deceased relative for security reasons. Also, Mr. Kee is a bit greedy if you ask me. He wants to keep $7.5 million of the inheritance “for me and my colleagues that will do all the crucial part in the Bank to ensure that all legal procedures are followed as regards the claim and making sure the claim is released to you promptly with no time wasted.”

Mr. Kee provided his private Hotmail account to conduct the transaction. I must not wait a second more or else someone else may come forward and claim my deserved riches, he warned. Nonetheless, he assures me that he will conduct our business in only the most reputable manner. That is a relief.

So here is my response.

Dear Mr. Kee,

I am very grateful for your lucrative offer. I only wish I could have gotten to know my meet my relative before he passed away so many years ago. I am sure he would be proud of person I have become. So I just know he would not forgive me if I did not get at least half of his $12,500,000 inheritance.

By the way, can I send you a copy of my Social Security card or will you need the original? I can get a copy made, but that may take a few days.

Now if you can promise me at least half of his estate, then I will get the procedures started and we will both be very rich men. Please speak with your partners and let me know if you agree to my terms.


I’m playing hardball. This guy must think I’m a fool to get less than half of the estate. Let’s see what he has to say.